Welcome… Family2Family4MD is a Blog for those who have taken or are taking NAMI’s free 12-week Family2Family Education course in AA Co.
AS ONE OF your Co-Teachers for F2F, I am so proud of you for wanting to know more about brain disorders. Please do not underestimate your courage. I applaud your willingness to be an UNPAID CAREGIVER for your loved ones when mental health issues arise. AND… I also encourage you to hug yourself often and spend some time just doing nothing but listening to the sounds around you.
BY THE TIME we do start to seek education about the mental behavior of our loved ones (biological problems in the brain), most of us are already exhausted, confused, frustrated, and sad. We were not prepared for this. Our solutions for coping are based on “normal,” rational behavior. In Family2Family classes we learned, however, that mental illness rarely appears suddenly. Even though we probably didn’t recognize the symptoms as they appeared over time, think about what our loved ones have been going through, as they struggle with changing realities.
Because medical care in this country is typically focused on physical ailments, families are forced to fight for adequate care for those with sound bodies, but injured minds. The stigma of mental illness among legislators, professionals, employers, employees, and others often translates into inferior services for and the criminalization of the mentally ill. In essence, the budget cuts for mental health services indicate that the public and policy makers are okay with afflicted families and loved ones providing free mental health care. BUT we are the PUBLIC… so we must not be silent. We must raise our voices and march to our State Houses and legislators to say – it is not okay for us (family members of the mentally affected) to subsidize the national health care system; it is NOT okay for the mental health needs of our loved ones to be met with insufficient services. We have a voice because of NAMI!
SO WELCOME! I’m glad you are here. My intention for this F2F BLOG is to allow you to educate others about what it is like to be around mental illness; we must destigmatize brain disorders. Telling our stories is a way to do that.
Remember our Family2Family motto – YOU CAN”T KNOW WHAT NO ONE HAS TOLD YOU!
Pass the word! AND… let’s get the word out that treatment works and that, in most cases… mental illness is treatable! We need to remind others that the refusal of treatment by those with mental disorders, is itself a sign of the disease itself. It’s neurological, not DENIAL! Who doesn’t want treatment when hit by a car or physically injured in other ways?
As Family Members… we have a lot of educating to do. From the evaluations we get after each F2F class, it’s obvious that you appreciate the FREE education and support programs provided by NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness). It’s healthy to give to others… so let the dialogue begin.
Be sure to check out all of the pages at the top of the F2F Blog and the links on the side. And, of course, feel free to leave your suggestions and comments (anonymously, if you prefer). Just click on COMMENTS.
Here are a few questions to get us started.
QUESTION #1: What prompted to you to take F2F; how did you find out about it?
QUESTION #2: How has you life or attitude changed or not changed since F2F?
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I took F2F because I needed answers to understand mood changes in a young relative. 12 weeks I soaked all the information I heard and became alarmed at how much I hadn’t known. Half-way through the course my attitude and sense of helplessness began to change. I am grateful to NAMI for this invaluable resource. I found out about F2F by going to NAMI Support Group meetings in Anne Arundel County.
I took F2F to help educate myself to help my family deal with the illness which has taken over our lives for the last ten years. I’m still learning, but in a much better place than I was a few months ago. My views, have changed and I’m working each day to change my attitude and how I deal with this illness. I’m grateful for finding NAMI and having a chance to attend the F2F meetings. I found out about the class from Mr. Dan Brown at a lecture at BWMC this spring. Thanks to our great teacher’s who have made this class fly by.
For the past few years, I have been straining to deal with an adult child with what I believe to be a bipolar illness. Convincing this child that a problem truly exsists – that it is NOT normal to act out the extremes of their anger, that it is NOT normal to be so crushingly depressed or unhappy – has been an ongoing source of frustration for both myself and the rest of our family. Many days I have hidden in the bathroom after surviving another of this child’s rageful episodes, clutching the sink and trying to gather my wits while the tears fell uncontrollably. We had tried “kind calmness”, we had tried “tough love”, we had tried “talk therapy” with a counselor who immediately decided the rage and depression were borne of some vague “maternal/child dysfunction”. I began to feel the only way to maintian my OWN sanity and that of the rest of the family was to sever my bonds with this damaged child — to “cut them loose” and close the door on their illness and behaviour… basically, leaving a sick, damaged person I cared for to a society that would never understand that there was a “broken brain” causing all the trouble. It was the hardest time of my life.
I was fortunate enough to find there was a Family 2 Family group meeting close to my home, and I hurried to sign up. It was one of the best things I’ve ever done. More than a support group, this class taught me valuable tools for dealing with my child. Through the wonderful guidance of the facilitators/instructors and the other members of my group, I learned that we were not alone; that there were others struggling with the same issues with an affected family member, that we’d all lived through crises (or were even still in the midst of one!) and there were real methods to use, real resources we could use to get a grip on what was happening to our loved ones and to advocate for their care. Finally some one was telling me what I’d really known all along: That my child’s illness was indeed just that: a medical problem, as biologic in nature as diabetes or cancer, that was not caused by “a cold, uncaring mother” or some other nonsense. There was a light at the end of what had become a very dark and claustrophobic tunnel.
We are still a work in progress. We may never see a “cure”; we may not ever even convince our child to get back into doctor’s care (sadly, our child being over 21 makes it difficult to see that they get the help we know they need). But what I have learned at F2F, what I can take back and share with my family, has given me new insight on mental illness. I feel stronger. I feel prepared. I feel supported.
Please – if you are reading this and you know of someone who is frustrated and struggling with a friend or family member who you believe has mental health issues, I urge you to contact NAMI and seek out a Family 2 Family educational group near you. They can really help you find the light at the end of your own tunnel.
Thank you for your comments. Your insights are helpful and encourging. On the WHAT’S GOING ON page of this blog you might find Dr. Fisher’s comments about recovery helpful. I know I certainly did. It’s good to finally learn that we’re not alone in wanting the best for our loved ones. Peace!